104: Date Night

We were expecting snow, so with a 9:30AM appointment, Shaun and I decided to head to Winston Salem the night before our transfer. We put Julie down for her nap, then hit the road, and left Linda in charge. We got to Winston Salem at dinner time, and, of course, had Japanese! We found a new restaurant, Mizu Japanese, and will definitely be returning. They had a full sushi menu, and excellent soup and hibachi. We left dinner, and headed to the hotel. We have always stayed at the Quality Inn on Hawthorne Lane. Since we didn’t decide ahead of time that we’d stay over night, we didn’t book a room. They always have availability, the rooms are clean, and the price is great. We got to the hotel, and for the first time ever, they were completely booked. They had a wedding party and guests for a soccer tournament. There was no room and the inn.

Our doctor’s office always had information about a hotel that offered discounts to patients. The starting price for their rooms was $135/night, so we’d never looked in to it. Since we were stuck without a room, we decided to see what they had to offer. We drove to the Hawthorne Inn, and were extremely surprised. The hotel is owned by the hospital, and offered a 50% discount to patients. We booked a room, and were pleasantly surprised. The hotel was extremely nice, and we will definitely stay there again. 

After checking in, we decided to go to the movies. We watched I Can Only Imagine, then headed back to our hotel, and crashed for the night. 

103: Support

Within about 15 minutes of sending my email, Lauren called to talk to me. We discussed my frustrations, and my lack of trust in Dr. Berga. I explained that I didn’t want to face her, or have her do our transfer. Lauren recommended freezing the embryos, and waiting a cycle, so we could have our doctor be there. Dr. Johnston had been on vacation for the past week, which is why she wasn’t able to do the retrieval or transfer. Lauren said that Dr. Patel was going to call me at 2PM to chat and discuss my options and feelings.

At 1PM, Shenia, one of our dance moms and a good friend, stopped by with lunch! She brought Pizza Hut, friendship, and a listening ear. I talked with her and Courtney about my hesitations, and dealt with Linda telling me that it’s in God’s hands and I shouldn’t be upset over what happened. I clearly know that God is in control, and I trust that He will answer my prayers. That doesn’t make the left behind eggs any easier to process, and it will always leave me wondering. 

Linda left after lunch, and Dr. Patel called right on time. She said that our best chance for success with or embryos was a fresh transfer. That a frozen transfer increases the chance of success by 10%, but that our embryos may not make it to freeze because of the quality, so risking it for my distaste in a doctor could cost us the entire cycle. Dr. Patel reassured me that Dr. Berga is very skilled at her job, and has been doing transfers longer than anyone else in the office. I agreed to the transfer, reluctantly, but decided it was the best course of action. If our embryos won’t make it to freeze, then I can’t chance it.

About an hour later, Dr. Patel called again. She called Dr. Johnston, and talked with her about how I was feeling. Dr. Johnston agreed to do the transfer for us! My entire outlook improved, and my stress melted away. I’m officially ready for transfer. 

102: Uncertainty

Today I’m just feeling a little down. Of the 9 eggs they retrieved, 8 fertilized. However, one is abnormal, 3 are fragmented and very poor quality, and the other 4 are ok. I keep wondering if we’d have had more, or better quality, eggs and embryos if they’d have retrieved all the eggs. 

I decided to send a message to Roxanne, explaining how I’m feeling. I don’t trust Dr. Berga. She did our retrieval, and told Shaun it went smoothly, when it didn’t. I don’t know that she tried her best to get the eggs, or if she just gave up since she wasn’t personally or emotionally invested in our case. Dr. Berga is supposed to do our transfer, but I just don’t think I can face her.

Post 101: Percocet

I have a new understanding of recreational drug use. I rarely even take a Tylenol, so when they wrote me a prescription for Percocet, I decided to take the low dose option. I was able to take 1-2 pills every 4-6 hours. Good lord, I would have been comatose if I did that! One pill was more than enough to knock me out and take away the pain. I actually fell asleep while eating after the first dose, and slept all day and night with just 2 doses! 

By Thursday, I’d only taken one pill at breakfast. Randi picked me up from the farm, and took me to class, since I’m not allowed to drive while medicated. I started feeling some pain, which made me light headed and queasy after a bit, and decided to take another dose after eating dinner. All my cares slipped away! 

I spent the rest of the evening trying to stay awake, then Gabi drove me home after class. I crashed quickly, and the day was gone. 

Post 100: Unstable

The ER was so full, that they took my vitals behind a curtain in the waiting room. The nursing supervisor was in charge of my check-in, and immediately realized something was very wrong, and continually apologized for the wait being so long. She asked general questions about pain levels, allergies, symptoms, etc. Then she took my vitals. My pulse was ok, but my temperature was low, and my blood pressure was 99/57. She said based on my stats, I was unstable, and would be sticking around for a while.

I got moved into a room, right next to the nurses station. They were so full that is didn’t get a private room, I got a curtain area, so I got to hear everything that was happening all evening. From the very sick grandma wailing like a ghost, to the drunk man who was being chased by something, to the other grandma with a broken left hip, yet they kept x-raying the right one. It was a rough, busy night. 

I had a male nurse all evening, and he came in to start an IV, and check my vitals again. Then the phlebotomist came to visit, tested my blood for every single thing they could think of, asked for a urine sample, and finally let me rest. I explained that my urine test would come back positive for pregnancy, but that it was from my trigger shot for IVF. Once they realized I wasn’t just looking for drugs, they called Dr. Patel, realized that I really wasn’t pregnant, and agreed I could have morphine. My nurse game me zofran and morphine, and I told him he was my favorite person. It kicked in instantaneously. My world started spinning, everything was carefree, but the pain was still there. In full force. We continued to wait and see if it got any better, and when it didn’t, they decided I needed more testing. An ultrasound tech came in, and said she was going to take me to a different room for the exam. When I asked her what type of ultrasound she would be doing, she said pelvic. I refused treatment. I’d just had the retrieval surgery, and was told nothing in the vagina for 5 days minimum. Dr. Patel also told the tech that a pelvic ultrasound wasn’t necessary, since it wouldn’t show anything other than swollen ovaries. They ageeed that instead, I needed a CT scan with contrast to get a better view. 

The CT was weird. I’d had the HSG with contrast, but never a CT. The radiologist said that once she started the dye, I would feel warm, and like I was going to pee on myself. That’s exactly what happened. Oddest feeling ever! After the exam, they wheeled me back to my curtain area, and we got to wait. Again. 

Around 3AM, they got my results back. I had a pool of blood under my liver, which was causing all the pain, and a reputed ovarian cyst. They gave me another dose of morphine, and continued to monitor me while deciding on a plan of action. Throughout the entire evening, my blood pressure continued to slowly drop. They’d given me 2-3 bags of fluids, and I’d been peeing like crazy. Shaun was asleep, but I was going to burst if I didn’t make it to the restroom soon. We walked down the hallway, and the bathroom was disgusting. Drunk guy had peed all over the toilet, floor, walls, everything. I had to pee though. It wasn’t an option, so I picked up my gown, squatted and hoped for the best. I started feeling light headed before the trip to the bathroom, but squatting must have pushed me over the edge. My world started spinning, and I told Shaun I had to sit down. There is a waiting area by the restrooms, so I didn’t have far to go. 

Once I sat down, I started sweating, my world was spinning, and I thought I was going to hurl. My nurse found me quickly, and Shaun explained what was going on. They decided the best thing to do was to get me back in bed. A minute later, a wheelchair arrived, but I was so weak that I couldn’t stand on my own. Shaun and my nurse lifted me into the chair, then lifted me back into my bed. When they got the monitors back on me, my blood pressure had dropped to 86/51, and my heart rate was 47. I was close to coma levels. All I remember hearing was that they were going to release me, but decided I needed to spend the night. They’d used smelling salts on me 3-4 times, and my stats just kept dropping. The doctor in the ER, and Dr. Patel, decided a night of observation would be the best plan. 

They admitted me to the maternity floor. Around 4AM, under Dr. Mullins’ care - the on call OBGYN. I got a private room in labor and delivery, with a bed for me, and two hard wooden chairs for Shaun. Funny, considering I was there for infertility. I was sick as a dog at this point, and spent a good amount of time stuck to a barf bag. I asked for zofran, and the nurses said they didn’t have orders for it, so they just brought me diet ginger ale, saltines, and a barf bucket. 

At 5AM, they came in to check vitals. They asked if I needed anything, and Shaun asked for a pillow and blanket. They brought him a recliner, and bedding, and he was finally able to rest. At 8AM, they came in to help me get to the bathroom. I asked if I was able to get breakfast, since I’d only had one meal in three days, and I was told no. That until they’d cleared me through blood work, I wasn’t able to eat or drink. Shaun ran out to get himself breakfast, and to pick up my medrol, aspirin, cell phone charger, and change of clothes. 

Shaun stopped back by to check on me, then headed to work. My nurse returned for blood work around 10:30AM, and said that if it was normal, they’d bring me a lunch tray, and after I ate and kept the food down, I’d be released. Since Shaun had already left for work, and I wasn’t able to drive, I was left to find a way home. I called my parents, but they had a lunch meeting and were stuck. Next, I sent Randi a message. She was in town, and said she’d be there! Yay! Dr. Mullins came in to talk with me, and said everything looked good, my ovaries were hyperstimulate, but that was to be expected, and the blood would absorb within a few days. He finally wrote me a prescription for Percocet, and said I’d be released unless my blood counts were abnormal. It was just a waiting game. 

At almost 12PM on the dot, they brought me food. I’ve never been so happy to eat. I inhaled my hamburger and fries. The nurse came in to remove my IV, and there was one bite left on my plate. She tried to move it away from me, but if looks could have killed, she’d have been long gone. She moved her hand away quickly, and went back to removing the IV, while I finished my last bite. I went to the bathroom one last time - they’d given me five units of fluid by then - got dressed, and sent Randi a message, letting her know I’d been released. 

The nurse wheeled me to the front door, and Randi was my saving grace. I was finally free! Being a genius, Randi asked if they’d given me prescriptions, and if I needed to fill them. That hadn’t even registered with me. Haha! I just wanted to get out of the hospital, and home to my bed. We stopped at CVS, got my medicine, and headed home. She dropped me off, and Courtney and Stephanie were waiting on me. They helped get me into bed, take my medications, and entertained Julie so I could get some rest. I slept all afternoon. Percocet is amazing, and my pain was finally under control. 

Post 99: Shit

Shaun helped me get in the house after the retrieval, and I went to lay down in bed. Surprisingly, I wasn’t tired. I should have been since I’d had anesthesia, but I was wide awake. I watched some tv, and then it hit me. Excruciating pain, through my right shoulder. As long as I was propped up, I was ok. When I’d start to lay down, my right shoulder would send chills down my spine. 

Then the pain started to spread. It moved to under my ribcage, and my left shoulder. I thought it may have been gas, but they didn’t inflate my stomach. I took 2 extra strength gas-x, and another dose of 1000mg Tylenol, and the pain just got worse. I toughed it out for a few hours, and hoped it would go away. 

Shaun put Julie in bed, then joined me. I tried to lay down again, and the pain just continued to shoot through me. It was like I was being stabbed, and I couldn’t catch my breath. At that point, I decided that Shaun could call the doctor on call, to make sure everything was ok. 

Within 10 minutes, we had Dr. Patel on the phone. She explained that the retrieval has been more traumatic than we were told, and that based on my symptoms, she expected I had internal bleeding. She said it’s not uncommon, but doesn’t happen often. The bleeding was causing irritation to my diaphragm, which was causing the pain in my shoulder and ribcage. She said that it would clear up on its own within a few days, but that we needed to go to the ER for Percocet, to help ease the pain and help my body heal. 

Julie was asleep, so our first priority was to find someone to watch her so we didn’t have to take her with us. We called Angel, but she didn’t answer. Then we called my sister, who was at the beach, and finally my parents, who jumped in the car and headed our way. It was around 7:45, so we expected to be home within a few hours. When they arrived, we gave them the baby monitor and the TV remote, and wished them good luck. 

When we got in the car, I sent Randi a message saying, “I feel like shit.” For anyone who knows me, this statement may be surprising. I don’t curse. Ever. It’s not language that I’m comfortable using, so when I do, you know something is very wrong. We drove straight to the ER, and checked it. Apparently, the entire town of Richlands was also at the ER. We waited for two hours before getting called back. 

Post 98: Retrieval is Here

Today’s the day! Retrieval day! Unfortunately, it didn’t go quite as planned. We checked in to the hospital at 8AM, as requested, and they took me right back into the minor procedure area. The news was playing in the waiting room, and there was a story about a child being rescued from a home, after it was found that the mother was feeding him brewed marijuana in his bottle. These people can have babies easily and naturally, but here we are, waiting for surgery, in hopes of becoming parents. Sorry for the tangent, but it felt important to include for some reason. 

By 8:15, I was in my gown in bed, waiting my turn. They started an IV, gave me fluids, asked all sorts of questions, reviewed the procedure, discussed the potential follicles, and fell in love with Easter photos of Julie. They were expecting to retrieve 7 eggs on the right and 5 on the left, based on follicle size. I had 18 measurable follicles, but the nurse explained that any follicle under 15mm likely wasn’t mature. The 12 follicles she listed we’re all good sized, and well over the 15mm mark! Around 9:30, they came to get me for surgery. They had me stop by the bathroom and empty my bladder, then a nurse and the anesthesiologist walked me to the operating room. I laid down on the table, and talked about grant writing with doctors as they put my arms in soft restraints, and administered versed. I was out like a light within minutes. 

An hour later, I started walking up. The nurse had told me she would write the number of eggs retrieved on my hand, so I could see for myself when I woke up. It took everything in me to focus on it, but there in my hand, was the number 9. It took a while, but I finally gained consciousness. They brought me some Tylenol, graham crackers, and ginger ale, and I got to talk with Shaun. I slept through the doctor’s report, so I was anxious to hear what happened. 

Shaun explained that the surgery didn’t go quite as planned. My left ovary was adhered to the scar tissue from my c-section. They weren’t able to safely get to the ovary to retrieve the eggs. They had to abandon at least 3 large follicles, since the risks outweighed the benefits. The doctor that operated on me, Dr. Berta, was someone I’d never met. I had no trust in her judgment, but I know that what should have been a 15 minute procedure took an hour. She definitely attempted to retrieve the eggs, but I’ll always wonder if she gave up, instead of seeking help. 

I was disappointed, but also lucky they retrieved so many. Nine is a good starting point, especially if they’re all mature. We won’t know how many turn to embryos until tomorrow though. By noon, we’d been released from the hospital, and were headed home. We stopped in Wytheville and picked up Japanese, my first meal since dinner the night before, then went home to rest. We dropped of a bowl of clear soup to Randi on our way home, because good friends deserve good soup when they’re feeling worn down, and she’d had a hard day in court, but still managed to check on me. I truly am blessed with her friendship.