Post 18: My best friend's baby

Well, today has been an exceptionally difficult day. We're now 26 months into our TTC journey, and have had six rounds of clomid, and three IUIs, and are waiting to see if the last one worked. My best friend is currently a missionary in Africa, and recently started TTC. Today she let me know that she's officially pregnant. It's still really early, and she's worried that something could go wrong, but four days of increasingly positive tests are hard to ignore. 

I'm not sure how I feel about this situation. I love my friend, and am genuinely happy for her. I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. I'm not jealous, but I am disappointed that she is pregnant and I'm not. I'm at such a low point that I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever become pregnant. Being jealous doesn't solve the problem of my infertility, and I know that my time will come, and that my friend will be overjoyed when I tell her that I'm expecting. However, I have a sense of failure that I can't seem to shake.