Post 77: numb

I'm back to playing the waiting game, and this is probably the most excruciating wait of my life. We had our second beta test today, and the results were not what we had hoped for. Our original HCG on Monday was 112, so with a healthy pregnancy, it should have doubled by today, and been at least 224. Unfortunately, our HCG was only 166. It's only doubling at half the speed it should be. According to our doctors, there's two scenarios for what's to come. The first is that my numbers will continue to rise and we had a set of twins, and are losing one of them while the other is still hanging on. The second is that my numbers will begin to go down, and I will have lost the entire pregnancy. We test again on Friday, and are praying that the numbers continue to rise. 

Post 76: beta day!

Today was the first time I've ever been excited for bloodwork! I had my first beta, and it's official! We're pregnant! YAY!! We woke up (Monday, March 16th) early, I got my progesterone shot, and we were at the hospital a little before 8AM. Registration took forever! When we arrived at the hospital, we were given a buzzer and told to wait in the waiting room until they called our number. Our wonderful hospital only had one person working at registration, and it took 45 minutes to get registered. I'd never seen such slow service. There were only three people in line in front of me. It was ridiculous! Once we were finally registered, we headed to the lab. About 20 minutes later they had drawn my blood, and we were on our way out the door for breakfast. It takes an hour to get the results, so Shaun and I headed to the mall to set up the studio, dropped off my car at the shop to get fixed since someone hit me in the Verizon parking lot last week, then we headed back to get the results.

I knew that the result should have been positive, but I was still completely terrified as we waited at the window for medical records to give us the piece of paper than could forever change our lives. Shaun and I held hands the entire time, and finally she gave me the results. I saw the number immediately! My HCG was 112! Our doctor wanted any number over 50, so we were off to an awesome start! We started walking down the hallway of the hospital, still holding hands, and Shaun asked if I was going to let him see the results. I handed him the paper, and in the middle of the hospital, he started cheering, and kept repeating, "It's not zero! It's not zero!" It was the sweetest response I could have asked for! 

We go back on Wednesday for more bloodwork to make sure that my numbers are doubling correctly, so, from now until then I am cautiously exited about being pregnant! Ahhh! I never thought I'd get to use that word to describe myself! I'm pregnant! 

Post 75: freaking out

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH!!!!! After 34 cycles, something happened yesterday that I was NOT expecting!! I went to work at the YMCA, and when I got home, I decided to take a pregnancy test. There was no reason to take one - I really was just double checking that I was going to be disappointed at my blood draw on Monday. However, that's not what happened! I peed on the cheap, Amazon special pregnancy test at 2PM. I sat on the toilet and stared at it for about 30 seconds and when nothing popped up, I put it down, and wiped. Unfortunately, I had pink spotting when I wiped, so I was sure that the test was negative. To my surprise, around the 90 second mark, I thought I started to see something. I stared down the test, and was in shock as I began seeing a second line! I could NOT believe what I was seeing! I've never seen a second line on a test, and I was sure that it was probably just a fluke. 

Once I was absolutely sure that the test really was positive, and my eyes weren't just playing tricks on me, I called Shaun. He had told me not to test, but to wait for my bloodwork on Monday. So when I called him, I started with, "So, I just went to the bathroom, and I'm spotting." His response was, "Ok, it's probably just the drugs, maybe you should call Roxy." I then followed up with, "but I took a pregnancy test, and I swear there's a second line." I believe he was in shock. He was with a customer, so he again said, "Call Roxy." 

I knew that calling Roxy on a weekend wouldn't be practical, so I sent her an email. I confessed that I took a test even though IVF patients are supposed to refrain due to false readings, and asked her about tr spotting. About ab hour later, she responded and said that it sounds like implantation bleeding, and not to worry. Well, I believe she was right. I took a test four hours later, and it was positive again!!! I was in complete disbelief. And, again, when I wiped, I had spotting. This time, it was definitely red blood though. So, I sent David a text message informing him of my positive test and the spotting. He reassured me that it was normal, even when I told him it had gotten worse, and the blood was darker. Having David confirm that the darker spotting was still normal definitely made me relax. 

I decided to test again right before bed. I made Shaun watch since he'd missed the first two tests. He was definitely shocked that a second line was there, but said that it was so faint he wasn't sure if it counted. I don't see a faint line - I see a definite line - but, boys will be boys. I also know that he doesn't want me to be too excited since it's still really early, and a lot could go wrong. 

I had Shaun pick up digital pregnancy tests on his way home from work yesterday for me to take this morning. He said that if I got a "pregnant" on the test, then he would be happy with me. Otherwise, we needed to wait until Monday to celebrate. Well, I took both the digital test and a cheap test, and again the results were in our favor! My cheap test line is continuing to get darker, and the digital test officially says "pregnant." I am over the moon, in shock, and am so excited for my bloodwork tomorrow!

Post 74: cravings and maybe a symptom

Progesterone is my worse enemy! Not only do I have to get shot in the butt each day, but it causes cravings and an increased appetite, so I eat like it's going out of style and pack on a few pounds of babyless baby weight. My cravings this time have included macaroni and cheese, and Japanese ginger salad dressing. I've also been living off of peanutbutter chocolate chip cookies, and peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches, which they do not sell at Subway, in case you were wondering. I believe that I officially have the diet of a toddler, but after following such a strict diet last time, and being faced with negative results, I figure this time, I'll just enjoy the ride, and eat what I want. It's definitely reduced my stress levels as I'm not forcing myself to eat avocados and nuts each day. I eat fairly healthily as it is, plus take a pre-natal vitamin, iron supplement, and probiotic each day. I think that should be enough!

As far as symptoms go, I have almost none. I have crazy cravings, but I know they're directly related to the progesterone. However, I do have one new symptom that I've never had as long as we've been trying. I've been cramping since the day we transferred the embryos. I'm really hopeful that it may be the embryo implanting, but I know it could also be my body rejecting what it sees as a foreign body. I'm 6 days past a 5 day transfer, and am still cramping. It comes and goes throughout the day, and is worse when I do something physical. I'm not doing much besides watching tv, but when I walk, or carry something light, I can feel a pulling in my uterus. It feels like my period is right around the corner, but since it's been going on for six days, I know it's not the case. I'm praying this is a good sign, and that we will get the best news of our lives on Monday. Only three days until we learn our fate as parents. It's a day that I'm both dreading and excited to arrive. Only positive thoughts until then! 

Post 73: transfer day!!

Another day, another transfer! We just left the doctor's office, and for the second time in my life, I am pregnant with twins! They didn't give me a quality rating, but everyone seemed a lot more positive today. The embryos weren't fragmented, and had clear margins. This was a huge improvement from last time. 

Even Dr. Shu, the embryologist, only had positive things to say today. We also have all five remaining embryos being watched until tomorrow to decide if they're high enough quality to freeze. One of them looks really fragmented, but the other four look really good.

I'm so much more hopeful after seeing the embryos and talking with the doctors. It's amazing how a little positive energy from them can make a world of difference in our attitude. Fingers crossed, and prayers greatly appreciated, for these babies to stick! We are so ready to be parents, and believe wholeheartedly that this will work! 

My comedy act for the day included not peeing on my doctor during the transfer! With a transfer, you have to have a full bladder. This typically includes arriving at the office, emptying your bladder, drinking 20 ounces of water, waiting 20 minutes, then moving ahead with the procedure. We arrived early, and since it was a Saturday, the actual building isn't really open - only certain offices. Therefore, only a single stall bathroom was available, and being polite, I let my mom use it first. As soon as she went into the bathroom, I got called back for my consultation. I expected to have a chance to use the bathroom before the procedure, but it didn't happen. They told me I could pee a little, but I knew that if I tried, j would fail, so we went ahead and started with an extremely full bladder. The transfer procedure includes pushing on your abdomen with an ultrasound wand while the embryos are inserted through a catheter. It's over in about 20 minutes, then there's a 20 minute timespan where you lay with your feet propped up. It probably wouldn't have phased me if we didn't start talking about the weather, which led to a conversation about flooding. For future reference, never talk about flooding on a full bladder! Mid conversation Dr. Johnston asked me to relax my legs - I swear I willed my pee to stay put. I don't think I've come that close to having an accident since I was a toddler! Luckily, no pee left my body, and I got a good apology for having to discuss water instead of thinking dry thoughts! 

Post 72: indigestion is the devil

Ugh...I have never had such bad indigestion. It's been coming and goin for the past few days, but it's been constant since around midnight, and is so severe that I can't sleep. I keep burping, and feel like I could hurl at a moment's notice. I sent my coordinator an email, but I don't expect a response for a few hours since its only 5AM. Otherwise, I'm feeling ok from the retrieval. I'm bloated and really sore, but it's to be expected. It also really hurts to pee, but with a catheter and 27 puncture wounds, the related pain makes perfect sense. I think I may have mild OHSS. My estrogen level three days ago was 1905, which isn't nearly as high as last time, but is still pretty high in general. Hopefully, I'll get a response quickly for how to alleviate some of the pain.  

Post 71: Egg Retrieval

Today was our second egg retrieval! Everything was so much smoother than last time. We checked in quickly, the clinic was not busy at all, and I didn't black out! Woohoo! 

We had 13 mature eggs retrieved, out of 27 follicles. We were hoping for more, but the couple beside us only had 4, and it put into perspective how blessed we are. I'll get a call tomorrow morning with an update on fertilization, and we're schedule for a day 5 transfer on Saturday if all goes well. Our prayer right now is for multiple, high quality embryos. We know this is our last egg retrieval for the time being, so the more the merrier!