Post 7: My First Stone

Supposedly, your body is more fertile the three months following an HSG. Therefore, from December to February, we were like bunnies! So much so that in late January, I had my first bladder infection, which was also accompanied by a kidney stone. I do not wish a kidney stone on anyone - however, since everyone says kidney stones are similar to childbirth, I think I'll be ok when that day comes, since I passed the stone without any pain meds! 

A lot of drama came along with the kidney stone. The emergency room doctors didn't quite understand that there was a "chance" we were pregnant, but that we were in the dreaded two week wait (the time between ovulation and your next period), and didn't know for sure. When the doctor brought medication for me to take, I explained that we were actively trying to conceive, and I did not want any medication that was not advised for pregnant women. He assured me that the prescriptions were completely safe, and had me take the first dose of bactrim (antibiotic) and a pain killer. A few days later, I picked up the bottle of bactrim, and saw that there was a warning label for pregnant women! I called my local pharmacy, and was advised to immediately stop taking the prescription, and contact my OBGYN. The pharmacist stated that class A and B medications were safe during pregnancy, but that bactrim was class D, and was known to cause problems. So, I contacted David, and filled him in on what was happening, he contacted the pharmacist, and together, they decided it was best for me to continue the medication, as it only had ill effects in late pregnancy. 

Post 6: HSG...OMG

Since Shaun and I were both "normal," according to every test we'd taken, it was time to move on to more invasive tests. In early December 2013 I got to have my first, and hopefully only, Hysterosalpingogram, or HSG for short. An HSG is an x-ray of you inner lady parts. Dye is injected through a catheter, and watched to see if it flows freely, or if there is a blockage. Essentially, an HSG cleans out your pipes so that sperm and egg can meet and travel easier. 

The day of the test, I was a nervous wreck. I was scared of the pain that I'd read could accompany the procedure, nervous of the results, and anxious to have it over with. I arrived at the hospital 30 minutes before the HSG as instructed, filled out all of the paperwork, got half naked and put on my gowns, and sat in the waiting room with my husband reading a classic 1996 Highlights magazine! Finally, the nurse came in to tell me it was time to start the procedure prep. 

As nervous as I was, I knew there was no escape, and that the test meant we were one step closer to our goal of becomig parents. I followed the nurse into the x-Ray room, where she laid a pillow on a large, cold slab for me to lay on. The nurse said she'd never worked with David before, but that she knew the procedure extremely well. I was prepped and ready to go, when the nurse came in and said that David had been called into an emergency surgery, and that I would have to wait an unknown length of time until he was available. If my nerves weren't already bad enough, I then had over an hour wait to think about what each instrument laying next to me would be used for. 

When David finally arrived, I was instantly calmed. The familiarity and the reassurance of knowing I was in good hands were my Xanax. The HSG was not as bad as I was expecting - the catheter slid in easily, and initially, I felt very little pain. However, when they dye started to be pushed through, it was like someone grabbed my ovaries and squeezed as hard as they could. Within ten minutes, the HSG was complete. 

Though I had the option to watch the screen and see the whole procedure, I decided that listening to the doctor lingo and saying my ABCs backwards was a better way to pass the time. Once the procedure was over, I cleaned myself up while David went to talk to the family of the woman who he'd operated on while I waited. When he returned, it was time to review my results. As I looked at the x-Ray, David explained that everything looked good, and that he was hopeful things would happen quickly. I had complete "spillage" on both sides - my tubes were open! About 10 seconds after his explanation, I told him I was going to sit down or black out. Though David blamed it on my anxiety disorder (we'll get to that later), I still believe that it was due to the severe cramping that began after the HSG. I have never had cramps as bad as I did that day. The nurse was in a panic that I reacted so oddly, but David reassured her that he knew me, and that I'd be ok! Once my world stopped spinning, I was wheelchaired to my car, and Shaun drove us home. 

Post 5: You're sticking what, where?

Somewhere between the first round of blood work and the Day 21 Progesterone test, I got to have my first ultrasound. When you hear the word "ultrasound" in the context of trying to have a baby, you think of movies. Girl lays on table, doctor squirts gel on stomach, girl complains it's cold, doctor puts ultrasound wand on stomach, everyone sees the inside of the belly. Yes, I had the movie version, but I was also the recipient of a transvaginal ultrasound. This type of ultrasound is not like the movies. For this ultrasound, the wand is stuck up your lady bits! Then for 10 minutes, it is pushed and rotated to see parts of yourself that were never meant to be seen! In all honesty, it wasn't that bad, but if I never have another transvaginal ultrasound again, I'd be ok with it.

At the end of the ultrasound appointment, I was told that David would call me with results in a few days. Shockingly, not, when David called with my results, I was, again, "normal." 

Post 4: Results are in

A day after our testing, we got a call from David. All of our numbers were great! We were both healthy as horses, which meant it was time for more testing. The next test was a Day 21 Progesterone test, which shows if you're body is ovulating. If you aren't releasing an egg, then it can't be fertilized, so you can't get pregnant. The Day 21 test was another blood test, but it had to be taken on the 21st day of my "cycle," which meant timing was important. Day 1 of your cycle is the first day of your period, so when you reach Day 21, it doesn't matter if you have plans, you must drop everything and go get blood work! Unfortunately, the set of blood work from the day before was on day 22 of my cycle, so the waiting game began. 

Almost a month later, I took the Day 21 test, and it came back with great results! My numbers showed that I ovulated on my own! As wonderful as this news was, I still didn't have an answer for why we weren't pregnant. And as was becoming normal, it was time for more testing. 

Post 3: Spilled seeds in Hobby Lobby

I failed to mention earlier that David's office is about an hour and forty-five minutes from our house. So when we left his office for the first time with our "attack plan," we decided to go ahead and get the blood work and semen analysis knocked out. The sooner we had the tests completed, the sooner we would know why we hadn't gotten pregnant. Since blood work was completed next door, I was up first, and became a partial blood donor. Though I didn't watch, I know they took around 50 vials of blood - ok, so maybe it was more like 5-6 vials, but it seemed like a lot more at the time! They took my blood, said have a good day, and it was time for Shaun's test.

If you've never had to provide a semen sample for analysis, here's the directions we we were given:

1) abstain from sex for 36 hours

2) rent hotel room due to travel time/distance

3) clean genitals 

4) begin masturbation

5) catch entire sample in cup

6) put lid on cup

7) clean up

8) immediately put sample between wife's breasts to keep warm

9) deliver sample to hospital within 30 minutes of collection time

Luckily for us, we had abstained for 36 hours when we were given the directions, so we decided to do the analysis the same day as our appointment. I refused to rent a hotel room - if I had to have a full exam, Shaun could "get it on" with himself in the hospital bathroom. 

If you've ever wanted to set the world record for longest time to masturbate, give a man a semen collection kit, drop him off at the hospital, make him ask the receptionist which floor the analysis lab is on, and then ask where the bathroom is located. I decided to wait in the car since I couldn't really "help," and got concerned when we hit the 20 minute mark. Around the 30 minute mark, Shaun came back to the car with a frown on his face, and an empty cup. All he said was, "they knew." 

Determined to turn in the semen analysis that day, we decided to go shopping. I had a few things I needed to pick up from Hobby Lobby, and since he didn't want to shop, he could try again in a less stressful environment. About 10 minutes into my shopping trip, I got a text message reading, "SUCCESS! Go check out, we've got 30 minutes to deliver!" I quickly made my way to the register, and Shaun casually strolled up behind me with a huge grin on his face. When we got to the car, he took the sample out of his pocket, and I placed it in my bra. We made it to the hospital with time to spare! 

Post 2: Thanksgiving dinner with my doctor

The only thing more awkward than going to a male OBGYN, is going to a male OBGYN who you've known your entire life. I'd been to a few different, local doctors for regular check-ups, and had always decided against seeing David (Dr. R) because I expected it to be awkward. However, when we hit the one year mark of trying to conceive, I knew that I wanted to see a doctor who would do everything in his power to help me have a baby. I have to say that out of the handful of doctors I've been to for my regular check-ups, my first appointment with David was the least awkward. Yes, it's strange to talk about your sex life with the person who gave you the sex talk, but there's a level of comfort that I wasn't expecting. It's also odd to pass along an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner after being examined. It's like saying, "how's my vagina, would your family prefer turkey or pasta?" We decided on pasta.

We saw David for the first time in October 2013, and I could not be happier with our decision. I explained that we'd been trying for a little more than a year, that I'd been tracking my cycles, and that it obviously had to be Shaun's fault that we weren't getting pregnant. David laughed, and said that we would start out with testing for both of us, wait for the results, and then come up with a plan. We left his office with a list of blood work, an ultrasound appointment, and a semen analysis test kit. He also told us we had "homework" to do, and that we should "get busy!" After a year of waiting, we had a plan, and we were going to get answers. 

Post 1: Boy + Girl = Baby...Nope

To anyone who told me that if I had sex, I would get pregnant, I'd like to tell you that you're wrong. After almost two years of peeing on ovulation sticks, timing sex, and using no protection, I am still not pregnant. My name is Emily, and I am the healthiest, most normal, infertile person around. When my husband and I decided to start trying to conceive, we were terrified that we would end up with a baby. Little did I know that it's just not that easy for everyone. Sure, if you're 15 and lose your virginity under the bleachers at homecoming, you're going to get pregnant. However, if you wait for sex until marriage, read all of the "What to expect before your expecting" books, and change your diet, all you end up with is caffeine withdraw, and a desire to discredit a mass number of authors.

As I struggle with infertility, I wanted to have a place to keep up with my thoughts, emotions,  hormone changes, etc., so that when I finally (hopefully) one day push out a baby or two, I can share with them why they are the most loved child/children in the world. This blog is my place to confide, vent, and keep memories, both good and bad.

My infertility journey started in 2012. My husband, Shaun, and I did not need to discuss "if" we were going to have children - the only concern was "when" we were going to have children. We were born to be parents, and are the coolest aunt and uncle, at least according to our seven nieces and nephews - we buy the good toys for Christmas. I started tracking ovulation using ovulation predictor kits (OPK) on our second wedding anniversary, in May 2012, and we casually started talking about "trying" to have a baby. In October 2012, my mom was given a rather discouraging diagnosis of a rare form of dementia, which affects short-term memory. She was diagnosed on her birthday, I cried the entire way from my sisters house, where she broke the news, home, and that night we decided that we were going to have a baby, and soon.

For the first few months, we were both hopeful and relaxed. From all of the books that I'd read, I knew that it could take two perfectly healthy individuals up to a year to conceive naturally. I had the standpoint that if we got pregnant, great, if not, we were still normal.  As the one year mark was quickly approaching, I began to get nervous. Maybe we weren't "normal" after all.