Post 20: Adoption? Is it for me?

I am so glad that I found the book Instant Mom. I have read it cover to cover, had internal discussions and debates about whether we should consider adoption, and even began looking at the available children on www.AdoptUSKids.org. What I've decided is that adoption isn't for me. 

Nia Vardalos does a wonderful job of explaining the ins and outs of the adoption process, and as I read her words, I realized that it is not something I want to go through. Yes, I want to be a mother, and, no, we have not ruled out adoption completely. But for now, it's off the table as long as there is another treatment we can try that could potentially end in a child of our own flesh. 

I have this thought that if God wants me to adopt, then he will open my heart, and give me the desire. When looking to adopt a cat, we viewed www.PetFinder.com. You can see all of the available shelter pets, and when I saw two little, black furballs, I knew that they were the right pieces to fill our family puzzle. The AdoptUsKids website is eerily similar to looking for a kitten. You can see photos of the children, read about their behavior, and see what type of environment would help thrive. 

Just as when we were looking for a kitten, we knew what we wanted when looking for a child. We have discussed adoption to some extent, and we know that it may be our only way to become parents. We've decided if we adopt, we want to adopt a young infant, who is relatively similar in appearance to us. Maybe this seems selfish, but in a small, rural community, where 99% of the population is Caucasian, kids need to fit in with their surroundings. We don't need our children to be discriminated against for being adopted and not looking like anyone else. It happens. I've seen it. 

As I was looking at AdoptUSKids, I set our parameters to include a Caucasian child no older than 3 years, with the gender unspecified. In Virginia, there was one child who fit this criteria, and I'm pretty sure they lied about his ethnicity, or he is the darkest skinned Caucasian I've ever seen. Nationwide, there were only 4 children who met the criteria we were searching. Over 200,000 children waiting to be adopted, and only 4 that met the requirements we wanted. With so few options, I decided to look into each child to see if maybe I would have a connection after reading a little more about them. As I began reading, I learned that all four children had serious medical concerns. Three of them were on feeding tubes, one wouldn't be able to walk. It was at this point where I realized that God is not leading me to any of these children. 

With our kittens, we saw them and knew that they were made to be part of our family. I would expect the same internal pull when looking for a child. What I saw was heartbreaking. Siblings who would like to be adopted, but wanted to stay within a certain state so they could see the one sibling who was already with a different family. Kids whose stories included wording such as, "the typical oldest child, she/he takes care of the younger siblings, and will need a family that can lessen the burden and allow her/him to be a kid again." I read through story after story, only to realize that there are people made for adoption, and I am not currently one of them. 

I will advocate for adoption. It is a wonderful way to start a family, and there are a tremendous amount of children who just want to be loved. I will champion for these children, and will encourage individuals to be more open to adoption. However, at this time, I will not be adopting a child.