Post 22: Just a little R&R - Reading and Research

I've found that the closer we get to starting IVF, the more research I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, with a background in public health, I research every last sneeze. However, this is the first time that my research has expanded. Not only am I visiting Dr. Google, I am also trying new ideas, such as acupuncture, and reading books about other's journeys. Here's what I've learned about myself through reading so far:

1) I have no desire to adopt

2) I must speak up for myself

3) it's ok to be frustrated all of the time 

4) hormones make everyone crazy 

5) I really, really want to be a mother 

6) God is in control, not me

The books I've read this far, include: Laughing is Concievable, Every Drunken Teenager Why Not Me, Infertility: A Silent Struggle and a God Who Hears, Waiting on God, and Instant Mom. I probably read more than the average person, and can knock out a novel a day without even trying. However, I have time on my hands as I'm not chasing after a child, and the cats are pretty independent. 

Parts of each of these books have stuck with me throughout this journey. Though Instant Mom is one that really got me thinking. Instant Mom is Nia Vardalos' story of infertility and adoption. You may know her as the lead actress and writer of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and the humor in her book is the same style of feel good comedy, even in such a depressing situation. 

I'd failed to mentioned a while ago that someone in foster care sought me out at a local fair. There was no prior mention of my fertility struggles, she just thought that I looked like someone who would be a great foster parent. Shaun and I discussed it that night, and both decided that we wanted a child from my own womb. But I couldn't help but wonder if this out of the blue meeting was a "God thing" and I just wasn't listening. To strengthen my resolve that God was indeed involved with the "chance meeting," about a week ago I was at a consignment sale, and was drawn to a book called, "Adoption Day." I purchased the used book for $1, and teared up in the parking lot as I read the words about not all families are born, some are made. So I began looking at adoption and foster care, and made it my new mission.